On (My) Writing

Nothing warms my heart more than seeing a look of understanding flash across my children's faces when they truly get something. I can almost see the cartoon lightbulb clicking on over their little heads.

Recently, I had my own "a-ha!" moment. I have finally begun to truly define my strengths and weaknesses. I read blogs where women describe their home schools, their days, their lives with beautiful, flowing prose and possessing a command of descriptive language I wish I could master. My discovery about myself is that I write in more concrete, black and white terms. My forte is legalese. On a daily basis - well, on a workday daily basis, I bandy about such phraseology as, "The parties having come on for hearing and the Plaintiff having been represented by counsel and the Defendant having acted pro se, and the Court having heard and considered the evidence presented thereto, finds and concludes as follows," or, "Please see a copy of Exhibit A which is attached hereto and incorporated as if fully set forth herein". You know, lofty language drilled into me by three years of law school, three years of writing for judges, and six years of private practice. And, no, I didn't copy that stuff out of a book; it oozes from my fingertips at least three days a week.

So, as much as I wish I could flourish adjectives about as if they were rose petals donning my nook on the internet (hey, that wasn't too bad for a Black's Law Dictionary junkie), I will settle for my lackluster but (hopefully) grammatically correct entries.

Curiosities

My four year old, Tricky, asked a question this evening: Who do you like better, Guy Fawkes or Justin Bieber?

[What?!]

Just wondering...

* Why do television shows, movies, and the like say "GSW" for gun shot wound. It actually takes longer to say the abbreviation. Think about it: jee-ess-du-bul-yoo (okay, don't shoot me over my pitiful phonetic spelling; just roll with my point) versus gun shot wound. See? (This is truly a distraction for me when viewing a show.) By the way, I understand that writing it is shorter, but saying it is not.

* Why do people post on their Facebook statuses the fact that they are on some remote beach somewhere, completely shut off from their homes? Yes, generally the people we are friends with on Facebook are (or should be) our true friends. However, as my husband is quick to point out, your friend may have just moved a troubled [Read: criminal history] juvenile into their home. Said juvenile may be reading over your friend's shoulder, committing your name and the fact that you just posted you are on a cruise ship parting the seas toward the Bahamas to memory. The same juvenile may later hop on the internet and find out where you live (it's not a difficult thing to do, right?) and may, with his or her similarly situated juvenile (delinquent) friends, pay your empty home a visit. After all, if you can afford a cruise to the Bahamas and have a house which will be empty for 7 days, 6 nights, you probably have some hockable goods in your home. That said, wait until you're back from vacation to tell us all about it, 'kay?

* How can I train my toddler to fall on his knees instead of his face? I know it is not unusual to have a toddler with a forehead bruise from time to time - I've had three previous toddlers. However, the current toddler is particularly prone to using his head as a buffer between the rest of his body and the ground he is barreling toward. I just need suggestions, short of his wearing a hockey mask full-time.

Our Day at Home

The kids and I stayed at home today. The first day I haven't gone somewhere in at least 2 weeks. It was nice - and we got so much accomplished!

For starters, we got quite a bit of school done (yes, we go year-round at our house - we only school 4 days per week during the "school year" so, I have to go all year long). I also did A LOT of laundry today - WOOT!

Baby food was a priority for the day as well... making it, that is. Until Chaucer, I never made baby food (outside of mashing up some bananas, that is). I decided this time I wanted to try my hand at the fine art of pureeing. [For all my hard work stocking food for this child, he is resistant to eating. I put a bite in, he holds his mouth open... for several minutes, until it drools out of his mouth. But that's another story for another blog post.] I made acorn squash, sweet potatoes, and pears. (Pretty good for a self-professing vegetable hater like myself!)

I also made... COOKIES. HUGE chocolate chip cookies. [Thanks, Michele, for the cookbook, the baking emulsion, and filling me in on the joys of King Arthur flour!] How huge? Each cookie consists of 1/4 cup cookie dough.

And, by the way, they're delicious!

Mommy Pants

I recently came to the realization that I have different wardrobe selections depending on what is going on in my life. I suppose this follows for most, but I thought I would share my revelation nonetheless.

Richard and I went to a function on a Thursday night where other attorneys and judges were in attendance. The function began at 6:00 p.m., so many of these attorneys and judges had just left the office (or the courtroom). I, however, had been with the children all day and didn't feel the need to escape my "at home/weekend" wardrobe. Of course, I wore clean clothes, but I had already put my 3-day work week behind me and didn't feel the need to don dress pants or a suit. Once Richard and I arrived, I felt a bit out of place. My colleagues, or the better part of them, were wearing black or navy blue suits. Not me! I had on a decent pull-over blouse (I try not to even wear clothes that button up if I've been breastfeeding during the day) and my mommy pants (these particular pants were pink). No one said anything to me, but I did hear a woman commenting on an attorney's guest's interesting skirt and felt sure that she would soon turn her points of criticism to my pants.

Obviously, I can't say that I don't care - I mean, I'm blogging about it, for crying out loud! But I am secure in my excuse. I had been happily attending my sweet ones all day until the moment came for me to leave them with their Nonnie and re-enter the world of my legal profession.

However, instead of dressing the part... I proudly wore my mommy pants!

A Day Inside

After hearing my children argue, fuss, whine, and fight over practically everything, I decided to make some fun for them.

S'mores in a Bag: A Failure
The first thing we tried was S'mores in a bag. A recipe I found in a magazine received in the mail a couple of days ago, it offered a substitute for that favorite campfire treat. In short, you put some graham cracker crumbs, marshmallow creme, and chocolate chips in a resealable sandwich bag; knead to mix; and eat. But that isn't exactly what happened. The marshmallow creme stuck to the inside of the bag while most of the crumbs and chocolate chips went to the bottom. Lesson learned? S'mores in a bag = mess.

Inside S'mores: A Success Story
So, after discovering the folly of that particular recipe, I decided to try my own concoction. Take half of a graham cracker, spread on a tablespoon-size dollop of marshmallow creme, and top with a generous sprinkling of chocolate chips.


Living Room Obstacle Course: Friendly Competition
Once the kids were hyped up on sugar, I thought they needed some way to burn off that new-found energy, but it was sleeting and raining outside. What to do? An obstacle course! One-at-a-time, the children had to don a pair of my shoes, pick up a small ball, crawl over a chair (while wearing the shoes and carrying the ball - wearing the shoes while climbing the chair proved to be quite a challenge for them),

move beads from one side of a toy to the other, jump in a hula hoop, crawl under the coffee table,

jump in another hula hoop, put a blanket on their head, and throw the ball in a potty chair (it has never been used, by the way).

I timed them, then they tried to beat each others' times and better their own time. It was quite fun for them.
Casey: 58 seconds, her best time
Will: 1 min. 8 sec., his best time
Tricky: 2 min. 5 sec., her best time

Obstacle Course for Me: More Difficult than Expected
So... I tried it! It went pretty well at first - I mean, the shoes were mine, so that wasn't a problem. No, the problem was the coffee table. I had to crawl commando-style and I thought my hips were going to get stuck and my husband would come home to find me trapped under the coffee table. I managed to shimmy out only to miss the potty 5 times before the ball finally went in (Tricky got it in on her first try).
Me: 1 min. 10 sec, not bad

[No pictures of my foray into the obstacle course, thank goodness!]

Tim Loves Tink

In a small town I frequently pass through, there is a bridge - the bridge is for trains to pass over the little road it covers. It's quite convenient if the train is coming through the town; one can simply go on this little road, go under the train, and not get stopped by the traffic waiting on the main road. (It's amazing to me that more people haven't figured out this trick... oh, well.)

Until recently, I have always noticed someone had painted on one side of the bridge Tim LOVES (with a heart instead of the word) Tink. When I say I have always noticed, I mean I've noticed this since I was a child... my grandparents lived in this particular town as I was growing up. My research has borne out some interesting information about Tim and Tink... seems as though this profession of love has been occurring since the 1960s. There are theories that Tim was a student at a local college and he dated a girl named Tina (nicknamed, Tink). Or something like that.

Well, from time to time, the city would paint the bridge - and paint over the love note. Always, I mean ALWAYS, within a couple of days of the bridge being repainted, guess what would reappear? You got it! Tim Loves Tink.

But something strange happened recently. The city painted the bridge... yet again... and someone spray painted (in yellow spraypaint this time) Tim Loves Tink on the overpass. It only lasted for a couple of days. The city painted over it again! Then, the city, in its infinite wisdom went a step further. Can you guess what the city did?


Instead of fighting it, the city honored their local lovebirds!

Ahh... this IS the stuff small town legends are made of!

While Reading "Alice in Wonderland"...

I came across this passage:

"Good-bye, feet!" (for when she looked down at her feet, they seemed to be almost out of sight, they were getting so far off). "Oh, my poor little feet, I wonder who will put on your shoes and stockings for you now, dears? I'm sure I shan't be able! I shall be a great deal too far off to trouble myself about you: you must manage the best way you can -- but I must be kind to them," thought Alice, "or perhaps they wo'n't walk the way I want to go!"

I feel your pain Alice! I miss seeing my feet, too!

Cool sites I've found today...

Here are some neat websites I've found today... Just thought I would share!

• Online Typing Test. Test your speed and accuracy. If you're one of the fastest typers, you will be ranked and can download a speed-typing certificate!
  
• Homeschool Planner. Use this quick and easy tool to make a homeschool planner.
• Rubberfaces. Okay, this one is just ridiculously mindless entertainment. But funny.
• Retroland. With taglines such as "reconnect with things that define you" and "who you were then," this site offers toys, games, movies, TV shows, fashions, etc. you can add to your profile - or if you just want a little taste of nostalgia without signing up. [The retropedia was a particular favorite for me.]
• Movie Mistakes. Find your favorite movies and all the things that were wrong but still made it to the silver screen.
  
• Teenager Audio Test. Neat - but gave me a slight headache (I could hear it, but I paid a price).

Created by Train Horns

Swedish Chef...

Do you remember Swedish Chef from the Muppets?

Casey went to the Center for Puppetry Arts in Atlanta last week with her Godmother. She had a blast! (Although, I was always afraid of the puppets when I went as a kid.) Well, it seems as though Jim Henson's estate donated some of his Muppets to the CPA's museum. Casey "discovered" the Muppets and was fascinated! So, once home, DH and I showed the kids some Muppets clips on YouTube. Casey saw Swedish Chef and went nuts! "That's Swedish Chef! He's at the Puppet Museum!"

So, DH and I proceeded to watch EVERY Swedish Chef video we could find on YouTube. Even though they are all basically the same, they were pretty amusing. Especially the theme song! Swedish Chef sings several unintelligible lines, then says, "Bork, bork, bork!" and throws whatever utensil(s) he is holding. DH then found a web filter allowing you to alter the text in your internet browser - or maybe it's only specific to Firefox, my brower o' choice, - to "Swedish Chef." It was amusing... at first... until I couldn't turn it off! I went to Eeee-bay-a and the Weeel-Trained-a Meeend before I begged DH to fix my computer.

I've now had my fill of the good Chef.